twenty-five

Every second that passes by brings me that much closer to my twenty-fifth birthday.

It's tragic really.

It's not that twenty-five is so horribly old that there's no point in living past it...it's just that, well now I feel old. I get tired earlier, I have definite grumpy moments, I'm no longer current on pop culture trivia, I enjoy solitude- I'm practically a less hairy version of Walter Mathau & Jack Lemmon! (See what I mean about that pop culture crap).

I have a very blessed life, I just wish I could enjoy the blessings without getting older. A lot of the things I figured I would have accomplished by this point in my life haven't been- I wouldn't say I failed at them, more that my perspective changed & the importance of those things fell on my list.

I think John Mayer hit his quarter-life-crisis on the nose when he said, 'I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life. Am I living it right?' It makes me re-evaluate my own life...it's probably a good thing to do every once in a while.

What better time to do it than on the cusp of twenty-five.

passion

Lately I've been reading a lot of fiction & stories that I can lose myself in. Not that those books aren't enjoyable, but I decided recently to intersperse some self-discipline & motivational books into my normal routine. I'm currently reading Jeffrey Gitomer's Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching! & not only is it inspiring vocationally, but I'm gaining a depth of knowledge on becoming a well-rounded person.

One of my faults is that I easily slip into a state of apathy. I go about my life & I don't really care about what's going on around me- usually I just figure that there's no point in me caring either way. At times I will become very passionate about some cause & go at it full force for a while until one day I've completely forgotten what it was I was passionate about.

Part of sales is helping other people discover the passion you have for your product. If you don't believe in your product you won't be able to sell your product. Music is one of my constant passions, but trying to convince other people that they should embrace the passion I've found for music isn't always something I feel comfortable doing. Why? I have been conditioned to never force my opinion on anyone else, therefore my passion for music takes the backseat. Now it's the mental battle of relearning some of the lessons I learned earlier in life & letting my passion shine through. When you're truly passionate about something it will be easy to let that passion flow into the lives of other people who will soon discover the passion for themselves.

Spiritually I do this a lot...a lot!! I figure that I'll believe what I believe & I'll let other people discover things for themselves. I'm called to spread the Gospel to all the nations. I'm called to be passionate. I need to get out of my comfort zone & stop worrying about pissing someone off. Ultimately the only One who matters is Jesus Christ & His love is more than enough to be passionate about.

the anticipated death of stye

You know what stye are? They're this super painful, gross, red pimple-type growth that forms on your eyelid. Monday evening I felt one coming on & yesterday it was starting to swell up a little bit. Last night I woke up to an eyelid that would only open one-third of the way & this huge, painful entity had established itself on my right eyelid. Disgusting! I used conventional methods to discourage any further growth- I cursed it. Actually, I really just used eye drops & hot wash rags placed appropriately over my eye. Because of it's unnecessary pain & ridiculous size I've decided that it needs a name of it's own, so soon we will witness the death of Frankenstye.

so black & blue for you

I understand & can empathize with the occasional loneliness a single life can bring. Like everyone, I have a desire to love & be loved & have a family of my own. However, I think many people let that loneliness cloud their judgment as it relates to relationships. I would much rather be single & happy than unhappy in a relationship with someone I'm not completely compatible with. I've done that before- I do not enjoy it. I am a very unique individual (as we all are). Recently, I've been continually pursued by men who clearly haven't given much thought to the overwhelming lifestyle differences between us. I'm in no rush to find romance, I'm trusting that as I continue to follow God's guidance He'll bring the right man into my life in His timing. Until then, I'm in no rush- I have been blessed with the best family & friends a girl could ever ask for. That's all I need for now.

top ten quotes of 2009.

10. Christina Applegate (Samanta Who?) - "Now you are the resentful one because you look less than super in the face of my super dooper."

9. Michelle - "Sometimes when I see people walking out of a bar with a bag of dog food in their arms I realize I'm in Oregon."

8. Andrew (To Justin) - "Did you know it takes eight pounds of direct pressure to crush a human testicle?"

7. Will - "What's red & orange & looks good on a hippie? Fire."

6. Ed Diaz - "Beer is Universal."

5. John Mayer - "I was finishing dinner at a restaurant last night. The waitress asked, 'you want a box for that?' I said 'no, but I'll wrestle you for it.'"

4. Poupe - "Is there strawberry in the mango? Then no."

3. Todd Sucherman - "Now, do I only get two eggs in the half hour time slot?"

2. Bentley as Jean Claude Van Damme - "If the bubbles are small, give your friend a call. If the bubbles are big, don't."

1. Customer - "Your nativity scene in the window offends me."
Paul - "Isn't that great!"
Customer - *confounded*
Paul - "You can be offended, we can still do whatever we want, & no one goes to jail!"