Embracing Need.

Pastor Brian Houston of Hillsong church in Sydney, Australia brought an empowering word this morning at the conference. He opened with Philippians 4:19, which says "And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Taking that into consideration, I should inform you (if you haven't already learned this about me) that I am an extremely independent person. I love having quality time with people, but too often I appreciate quality time with myself much more. I prefer not to be in need of anything...& if I have a need I generally take care of it myself. I'm the worst person to buy a present for because if I want or need something I will just go out & get it for myself.

Pastor Brian spoke a word that was true revelation for me, he said that "at the core of sin is a commitment to independence." He's right on. At the core of sin is an attitude that says "I don't need other people" or one that causes us to rely upon ourselves. Needlessness devalues.

Look at the stories where Jesus feeds the multitudes, there was a need & GREAT things came out of that need. He supplied in excess. Need represents the blessing & supply of God in our life.

In our society we're conditioned to believe that need is a bad thing- it's a sign of weakness...& you know what, in our weakness HE is strong & HIS power & glory are made manifest. We need MORE need in our lives. We should embrace our need for God, our need for His divine provision His divine supplication, & our need for community.

My Pastor is continually stating that God is our source. It's our reliance on Him that enables us to receive His blessings. If God is my source then I have no reason to worry & be anxious about what the future (the unknown) will hold.

So let's become people who embrace need & let's believe God that He's going to supply us with overflowing blessings that continually shine His glory & His power. And let's shake this generation by His divine supplication.

DNA

I had another blog prepared entirely, but as the day went on I began to feel led to share something different. First let me state that I'm fairly certain Texas discriminates against people walking down the street because the sidewalks don't exist, plus the funny looks are priceless. I also think they measure distances much differently than we do because Starbucks did not look this far away on the map.

I've heard a lot of good word today & some incredible insights into leadership & worship in general, but the part I would like to focus on came during the final general session today. Pastor Sion Alford talked about the DNA of the church- the concepts that should be at work in every healthy, successful ministry. In Numbers 3 it lists the names of the sons of Levi & their responsibilities in the nation of Israel. Levi had three sons: Gershon, Kohath, & Merari. The passage goes on the explain that the Merarites were called to strengthen & bless- they brought structure. The Gershonites were in charge of the coverings & systems that were put in place. Last, but not least the Kohathites were to oversee the articles & the sanctuary. In order to have a healthy, successful ministry you need all three foundations working in harmony- structure, systems, & sanctuary.

The structures that we put in place are determined by a clear vision (simple & constantly communicated), clear values, & a clear mission (how you get to where your vision directs). The systems are the processes set in place that run the ministry. Systems, when they're simple & reproducible, will run on their own. The third foundation is sanctuary, which is the time we spend in the presence of the Lord- making TIME to get alone with God. In Numbers 7:1-9 Moses is determining how many oxen & wagons each area is allotted. The thing to note is that he didn't give the Kohathites (sanctuary overseers) any wagons or oxen because Sanctuary is daily, it's something we can never put on a cart because it can't run itself.

The priorities of a worship leader are to first minister to the Lord & second help others minister to the Lord. Too often we become "I-focused" & we forget that worship is our ministry to the Most High God- it's not for us to receive, but to give all of us for all of Him.

insecurities.

Lately I've been considering how often we (human beings) are prone to react based on our insecurities. It's a natural occurrence. No one likes to feel vulnerable, & trusting that other people will be sincere feels like a game of Russian Roulette. I have gotten so bad at not opening up to people that a barricade of "introversion" (which is apparent considering the manner of this blog) has established itself around me. I try to let my strengths outshine my uncertainty, which generally causes me to become apprehensive knowing that it will only be a matter of time before a person hits that vulnerable point in me. I am always in my head, in fact a close friend of mine is continually telling me to "relax". He's right. All good things that come in life are a result of some level of risk. We have to put ourselves out there to experience what it really is to be alive. The greatest reminder is that God chose me. Catherine Kulhman stated that "God isn't looking for perfect vessels, He's looking for yielded vessels." So for those times when I don't feel like I'm good enough or when I focus heavily on my shortcomings or when I analyze situations to death & fear that somewhere along the road I could have done something differently to achieve another outcome I just need to take a deep breath, relax, & remember that He chose me...& to Him I am perfect.

One of my favorites...

Barista Diaries - Addicts

Because of my availability, I work in the mornings. Generally I'm awake around three o'clock to be at work by four A.M. Working a similar schedule from day to day allows me the opportunity to greet the same faces every morning. I've found that the best way to get to know my customers (as with all relationships) is to find & focus on our common interests...or just talk about them (because everyone likes to talk about him or herself). I have customers who give me book recommendations. I have customers who tell me about their love life. I have genuine customers who seem to really be interested in what I do when I leave the four walls of the store. There are certain customers who have a generally pleasant demeanor & are easy to talk to & there are others (who I pride myself on having developed comradery with) who take a while to break down. Even though I wake up at an ungodly hour it's reassuring to know that I'll be greeted all day long with so many familiar faces. It's as if I live in an episode of "Cheers"...where everybody knows my name.

Gotta Get Down To It

"You say you got a real solution

Well, you know we'd all love to see the plan.

Don't you know it's going to be alright?"

- The Beatles

From a young age, the value of education is established into the minds of United State-ians. We are told that in order to obtain a decent living we must acquire a reasonable career, which can only be landed with a college degree, & the only way to be accepted into a respectable college is by securing high marks throughout high school & earlier. Please don't misunderstand me- I firmly agree that education is a necessary part of what makes a well-rounded individual. As a (somewhat) recent college graduate I've discovered- along with thousands of other recent college graduates- that a Bachelor's degree will not really get you anywhere these days. Most recent college graduates are living on wages that are considered around or below the poverty line, add to that the fact that we're paying off tens of thousands of dollars in student loans & our finances become a source of nausea, anxiety, & denial. When we graduate, a small percentage of us know exactly what we want to do with our lives & the rest of us find some type of safety job to spend years discovering what we actually want in a career. It's an unsettling place to be.

Egypt has been the hot topic throughout the past two weeks. As I dug into the demands & causes behind the protests I started to discover that the majority of protesters are under thirty & unsatisfied with the state of their lives. Their wages force them to live in poverty, & the government, being aware of their circumstance, has not done anything to better their condition. The difference between them & us is that their level of poverty is significantly lower. Having an unstable governmental situation in Egypt is no doubt alarming, but I cannot disagree with the protesters attempting to peacefully disapprove of their circumstance. Their demonstrations have brought against them brutalities that seem in many ways a parallel of a certain Ohio tragedy back in May of 1970.

We have been promised change, but no change comes. I'm not calling for large demonstrations or civil unrest, but I'm unsatisfied with the false hope that seems to be only smoke & mirrors. I no longer want to live in a state of discontent, I think it's time to start being the change & creating it for ourselves.

Barista Diaries - Etiquette

I am employed by a well known establishment that supplies consumers with their daily dose (or overdose) of legal addictive stimulants. Those of you with food industry experience are well aware of the fact that being on our side of the counter comes with it's fair share of entertaining situations & fascinating people. Eventually I'd like to share a few stories of my time here, but first I think it's necessary that I share a few tips on etiquette for absent-minded patrons.

1. It is not in your best interest to start your order with "Give me a...", not that we'll go in the back & spit in your food (I've never heard of it at my store), but we'll continue to keep you in our good graces if you are polite.

2. I do not recommend coming to the drive-thru & placing an order of fifteen drinks with thirty assorted pastries (with no preference on type) during a rush...or at any other time for that matter. Park your car & come inside.

3. Note that if we do not know your name & you come in regularly enough we will make one up for you (& you will most likely never know). Like "Boo" (who's real name was recently discovered), "Fabio", "Americano Guy", "Girl Who Cheats The System", or the unfortunate "Porn Guy" (who abuses our free wireless internet).

4. Pick-up lines are not encouraged & will most certainly earn you a place on our "creepy customer" list.

5. Rearranging the furniture is okay, just don't block the front door & then look at us as if we're the stupid ones when we ask you to move because it's a fire hazard.

Take note & enjoy your beverage.

What Love Really Means.

He cries in the corner where nobody sees,
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe.
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please...
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become.
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love,
What love really means.

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says...

Who’ll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love,
What love really means.

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone,
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done.
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul,
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home.”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said, “I know you’ve murdered,
And I know you’ve lied,
And I have watched you suffer all of your life.
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...

I will love you for you,
Not for what you have done or what you will become.
I will love you for you,
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew."


- J.J. Heller "What Love Really Means"

**Thanks Glory for sharing**

Veteran's Day

We had three kids loaded into the red wagon all bundled up shielding their eyes from the bright sun. It was parade day. To say that it was sunny would be deceitful, Oregon winter sun is cold...very cold. We made our way down to the parade route with all of the other townsfolk. Once we found a break in the sidewalk Kyle Beth, Brayden, & myself all sat on the curb to get a better view...& when you're four years old having a good seat to chase the parade candy is always a good thing. The little boy sitting with his family next to us was holding a bucket of cheetos & it was clear that he enjoyed them as he gave me a big cheesy faced smile & pointed to the oncoming motorcycles. A fighter jet flew overhead & the kids gazed in excitement (while covering their ears). We were celebrating all of our local (& national) Veterans. One of these days the kids will understand that weight of that celebration & Kyle Beth will be able to thank her daddy for all of his hard work & service for our country. So to all of our Veterans our there...I express my sincerest, heartfelt thanks.

Don't Give Up.

Tonight I had the pleasure of traveling to Portland with a group of friends from my church to hear Pastor Chris Hodges from Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama preach. Not only did we develop a few good nicknames along the way (that one's for you Space Invader), but Pastor Hodges brought a great word tonight. He began by telling us the story of Church of the Highlands & informed us that, despite what people may believe, it wasn't an overnight success- He went through a lot of battles to get to the point where his church is reaching an average of 15,000 people any given Sunday. He used the story of Joshua to affirm that God's promises for us don't come overnight- we have to battle & push through in order to get to that place.

I, like so many people, hate the travel process. I want things to be easy now instead of having to be patient & wait- the perfect job, finishing college (praise the Lord that one's done!), getting married, among others. The trouble with wanting things now is that I lack the maturity that's gained in the process of me reaching my destination. "If you don't like the travel process you're never going to get to the Promised Land."

In Joshua chapter one, God makes a promise to Joshua that He's going to give them a vast expanse of land (the Promise Land, aka Israel) & that He's going to make Joshua a success. Skip ahead to chapter twelve, we find out that Joshua & the army had to defeat thirty-one kings in order to gain the Promised Land. That's a LOT of battles...& they weren't all won overnight. It takes perseverence to finally come into God's promises.

God told Joshua to "be strong & courageous"...He knew the journey wouldn't be easy, but it would be rewarding in the end if Joshua continued to push through to the end. So my challenge for you (...& me) is to keep pushing through & leaning on the Holy Spirit as you work to come into the Promised Land that God is going to give you.

a note to the man who eventually wins my heart.

It would be in your best interest (& mine) if you can sing & play "Wonderwall" by Oasis...just a little tip in advance.

Joshua

A few years ago, before I had surrendered my gifts & dreams to the Lord, my family bought me a book by Darlene Zschech called Extravagant Worship. Recently I rediscovered the book (while moving) & decided to read it & in doing so God has brought a tremendous level of revelation into my life. I shared this piece with my choir this past week & now it’s time for me to share it with the internet world.

Most stories begin the same way, but for the sake of this story I will just say that there was once a man named Joshua. Now Joshua had the enormous job of leading God’s people into the Promised Land. I’d like to point out that Joshua spent a lot of time in the presence of the Lord. Anywho, God told Joshua that He had given the city of Jericho into the hands of the Israelites. They had just arrived in the Promised Land & had a lot of work to do in order to fully come into the promises that God had for them. So God gives Joshua instructions on how to conquer this great city, He tells him to walk around the city once for six days & then on the seventh day to walk around it seven times & at the end of the seventh time they were all to blow trumpets & shout & the Lord would give the city into their hands. Joshua filled with godly wisdom told the Israelites to be silent as they walked around the city until he told them to open their mouths & shout. The Israelites got up & did just as God had said for six days & then on the seventh day they walked around the city seven times & once they were finished walking Joshua told them to “Shout, for the Lord has give you the city”. So the people raised their voices to God & the walls of this gigantic city came crashing outward & they took the city- coming into the promise that God had made for them.
** The full account is found in Joshua 6**

At the beginning I mentioned that the book had come to me “before I had surrendered my gifts & dreams to the Lord”. The reason I say this is that in my younger days my maturity level & understanding of God wasn’t in a place where I would have taken as much from the book as I am able to now. It took a lot of life to get to the point where I am able to yield myself to the Lord because He “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us”. (Ephesians 3:20) As I continue to spend time in the presence of the Lord, He continues to bring refreshing & guidance. I truly believe that He caused me to rediscover this book at a time when I was fully capable of taking from it what He desires to show me.

Back to Joshua. God told him to walk around the city thirteen times & He would give them the city. Sometimes God’s leading doesn’t make sense to us, we just need to believe He loves us & has everything under control. At the end the Israelites lifted their voices to God in praise & the walls came crashing down!! God’s power inhabits our praise of Him. I don’t even begin to comprehend the enormity of this! God’s power inhabits our praise! When we lift our voices in praise to God walls come crashing down & His power is made manifest in our lives. When times are tough & we sing praises to our King the enemy no longer holds any power over the situation. We declare that God is all-powerful & has everything under control & we are able to enter into the promises He has for us.

Last week had its share of trials. I broke down at one point because it seemed like everything was going wrong & all I wanted to do was go take a seventy-two hour nap. I sat down on a sidewalk & just began to cry. While I was sitting there I heard the Holy Spirit tell me to sing. I should mention that it’s quite difficult to sing & cry at the same time, but I did it anyway. I opened my mouth & out came “How great is our God. How great is our God, & all will see how great, how great is our God”. I just kept singing & at some point the tears stopped & I was reminded of the truth that God has everything under control.

The power of God which inhabits our praise will tear down walls & heal wounds. My dream is to see Jesus Christ’s church all across the world raise our voices in praise to the Father & watch as He begins to restore people to Himself.

she & him

It’s always funny to me when people think I am way cooler than I actually am. Quite honestly, I am rather uneventful & kind of boring & I like being that way. So when people express concentrated interest in my day to day & are charmed by my response it’s rather amusing.

That being said, I stepped out of my monotonous box Friday to attend a She & Him concert with a friend. Talented, live music is inspiring. I was captivated. M. Ward pretty much stole my heart away—step aside John Mayer, you’ve been outdone. Luckily, we were able to score second row seats allowing my gearhead side to drool over all of the awesome equipment they used.

I was also quite star-struck being about forty feet from Zooey Deschanel, not only is she a brilliant musician she’s also my favorite actress. They started with a few numbers accompanied by their whole band & then dismissed the rest of the band for a little “alone time” with just the two of them, in which M. Ward played his Gibson acoustic & the two of them sang. During this time they sang one of my favorites, a cover of “You Really God A Hold On Me”, & I found myself singing along at the top of my lungs. If I’m going to get out of the box occasionally, I’m really glad it’s to have incredible experiences of this nature.

one of my best...

...can't wait for Michelle & Joshua to come home again!!!

Jesus is for me.

So apparently Jesus is taking over Seattle (jesus-is.org). That's pretty awesome if you ask me. I believe that Salem is also on the edge of a massive spiritual revival & I am extremely excited to be on the front lines.

I went to a football game last Saturday & had an awesome time. In typical Oregon fashion it rained the entire time...but my team won (they blew the other team out of the water) & that's cause for great celebration. There was one point where they brought out about 150 football players from the past sixty years (I believe)- some so old that they were pushed out in wheelchairs or walking on the field with their walkers. I, being a bit overly sentimental at times, felt myself choking up as these players received a standing ovation from the 57,000+ crowd.

Jesus is my biggest fan. Jesus isn’t sitting on the sideline cheering for me—He’s in the game with me! He wants me to succeed & to rely on His strength. In His presence I find peace, inspiration, rest, & life. He’s not in heaven waiting for me to fail—He views me with grace as I continually strive to let Him live in me. I can’t, but He can.

Jesus is for me.