A Softer World (asofterworld.com) has this old comic that I stumbled across again today. It says, "I should have been brave enough to just ask your name, instead of screaming 'I cannot contain my lust'. Now you probably think I'm a creep." I let out a good hearty laugh with that one.
I am quite a lucky woman- I have (strictly platonic) guy friends who talk about love & relationships & romance with me. It goes both ways: they ask me about their lady friends & I annoy them by analyzing every little detail about whatever man I am interested in. It's what I do.
So, keeping that in mind, I recently finished reading, for the second time, 'He's Just Not That Into You'- the female manifesto, if you will. The funny thing is that a considerable amount of advice given by my guys completely contradicts the theories in the book. They both tell me what an amazing, beautiful, strong, passionate, capable, woman I am & that I need to find a man who's genuinely interested in me, because giving & receiving love of the romantic kind is a very worthwhile pursuit. They also parallel each other when they tell me that the tools I've dated in the past are just that & I'm lucky to have them out of my life so I can move forward in discovering who I am because I deserve more.
In all of that other stuff they are quite opposite. Greg Behrendt's theory is that when a guy is TRULY into you he will go to the ends of the earth to win you over. His rules are that if a guy doesn't ask you out, call you, date you, have sex with you, hang out sober, marry you, & so on, then he's just not that into you. While I feel that, on a certain level (with most of his rules), he definitely makes a good point, I also agree with my guy friend as he advises to "think about how emasculated men have been and how they've been lead to believe that to chase is to be a 'pig'." Perhaps men will begin to realize that women (I included) never really know what they want.
We make something so complicated when really it's so great simple. I also recently read 'Sex God' by Rob Bell. He discusses the innate human need for connection & suggests that a genuinely healthy marriage relationship will give us a glimpse of the perfection we were meant for. He compares a relationship where you can be completely naked (meaning that we're entirely vulnerable with & trusting of someone else) to what Heaven will be like with Jesus. I can say without a doubt that I want to experience THAT kind of love...& I don't care how long I have to wait for it.
I suppose that for now I'll just relax & see where this road takes me. I'm in no hurry.
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