This may be a pretty obvious observation...but I'll make it anyway: following God's direction and guidance is a very difficult thing to do in life. There I said it...now I feel better. Sometimes I try to fool myself into thinking that I have all the answers I need in life...trying to fool yourself is a stupid thing to do by the way. There are times in my life when I've followed God's leading and many more times that I haven't. Looking at reasons why I would choose not to follow God's leading, I've found that mostly it comes from fear. Fear of what may happen to me, fear of where it will take me, fear of what someone else may think, fear of disappointing someone, and the list goes on. In the past year I have chosen many times to blatantly go the other direction when God is clearly leading the way with great big neon lights. Coming to Massachusetts was one of those neon lights experiences...it is where God wants me...and I knew that before I left. I know where God is leading me now...I know the calling and the passions He's placed in my life...but I'm afraid to follow. It's challanging...
I'm altering my whole lifestyle in order to put myself in a position where I'm able to follow His direction. In fact, me altering my entire lifestyle is following His leading. I'm terrified! I'm afraid I will fail miserably! I don't know where my paycheck will come from in June...I just know where He wants me. The amusing thing to me is that He's taking me to the exact place I ran from a year ago. Maybe I'm having my own Jonah experience...I don't know. I don't want people to think I'm crazy...but honestly I'm not doing it for the eyes of people...it's for Him. Day by day my heart grows heavier. I feel helpless...but empowered at the same time...does that even make sense? Probably not...
God has placed people on my heart...all people. I want to see them through His eyes. I want to show Jesus' love to the people of this world...and most of the time I do a very poor job of it. I'm done doing my own thing...I'm done dreaming my own dreams...I'm tired of life being dashed on the rocks. I want to be in line with His thought and His dreams...because they will be far more incredible than anything I could ever dare to imagine.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
the rape of the world
I want to make a difference, I really don't care anymore about having money or security or getting married or having kids, I just want to make a difference. I let debt hold me back...don't get me wrong a college education is wonderful! But I always think of things in terms of what I could do as soon as I have it all paid off. God has really instilled in me a passion for people & simplicity. My real life dream is to go to India or Africa or China or Eastern Europe & start a life. I want to minister to people & truly become one of them! I want to live simply & without busy-ness. The funny thing is that in high school I always told God, "Lord, I'll follow you with my life...just don't take me out of the country." Amazing really that I now have a passion for going to another nation.
Ben Harper has a song called "Excuse Me Mister." I love the song, & that's a lot of how I feel...with the exception of being a "Mister." One line in it says, "Excuse me Mister can't you see the children dying? You say that you can't help them, Mister your not even trying." I want to make a difference! Not only is the earth being destroyed, but people are dying every day of things that can be prevented! People are out there in bondage & most of us sit in our "United State-ian" homes living our truly priviledged lives & continue to want more! Trust me...you may not feel priviledged but you are. I probably shouldn't even be "preaching" about this...cuz I'm as guilty of it as anyone! All you'd have to do is take one look into my storage unit & you'd be able to tell that I have more stuff than anyone would ever really need! But I've lived without most of that stuff for the past five months, which makes me wonder why it's even that important to me...especially since I don't even miss it.
I let my debt hold me back. I say stuff like "I can't sponser that child...I have too many other bills." But you know what? I spend money like it grows on trees, & on ridiculous things none-the-less! Why am I not using restraint to put that money toward everything I should be paying off so I can actually do something helpful?
I'm also passionate about the earth. Here's an cheap & easy way to help: recycle. Really...I know it may sound silly...but I truly CRINGE when things that can be recycled are just thrown away! What is happening to all that waste? It has to go somewhere!
The other day while I was watching the news they were talking about how life expectancy is going down in the United States. Interesting huh? I thought so. Researchers are trying to figure out why this is happening. They actually referred to us as the "richest third world country." I don't think we take care of ourselves. Most people don't take care of their bodies & if we're living off the earth but not taking care of it, it can't be good for us either! We live our busy lives & the stress begins to wear on us. We are a rich country...but it's never enough! Luke 12:48 says: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." We've been given so much...therefore so much more is expected of us. We should be giving back. Are we really being good stewards of what's been given to us?
Have you ever stood in awe & wonder while experiencing God's creation? Every time I go to the ocean I'm seriously breathtaken at first! When I step into a clear river & slide my feet over the smooth rocks I feel God's presence. When I'm sneezing my guts out cuz the flowers are in bloom, I praise Him for the beauty (and take some clariton)! Have you ever found a spot, on a clear night, where there are no street/city lights around & it's pitch black & you can literally look up into the heavens & see EVERYTHING? It's amazing! Have you ever witnessed the birth of a child? I have...I've never seen anything as beautiful as that! I truly sobbed! I want to take care of the earth, not only for myself, but for that child & every other child born in the future! It's not ours...we're only passing through really. The song "Big Yellow Taxi" by Joni Mitchell says, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone." Well if we know what we have & we know how to take care of it...shouldn't we do something about it?
I have my own excuses...but I don't want to settle for excuses anymore. What's your excuse?
Ben Harper has a song called "Excuse Me Mister." I love the song, & that's a lot of how I feel...with the exception of being a "Mister." One line in it says, "Excuse me Mister can't you see the children dying? You say that you can't help them, Mister your not even trying." I want to make a difference! Not only is the earth being destroyed, but people are dying every day of things that can be prevented! People are out there in bondage & most of us sit in our "United State-ian" homes living our truly priviledged lives & continue to want more! Trust me...you may not feel priviledged but you are. I probably shouldn't even be "preaching" about this...cuz I'm as guilty of it as anyone! All you'd have to do is take one look into my storage unit & you'd be able to tell that I have more stuff than anyone would ever really need! But I've lived without most of that stuff for the past five months, which makes me wonder why it's even that important to me...especially since I don't even miss it.
I let my debt hold me back. I say stuff like "I can't sponser that child...I have too many other bills." But you know what? I spend money like it grows on trees, & on ridiculous things none-the-less! Why am I not using restraint to put that money toward everything I should be paying off so I can actually do something helpful?
I'm also passionate about the earth. Here's an cheap & easy way to help: recycle. Really...I know it may sound silly...but I truly CRINGE when things that can be recycled are just thrown away! What is happening to all that waste? It has to go somewhere!
The other day while I was watching the news they were talking about how life expectancy is going down in the United States. Interesting huh? I thought so. Researchers are trying to figure out why this is happening. They actually referred to us as the "richest third world country." I don't think we take care of ourselves. Most people don't take care of their bodies & if we're living off the earth but not taking care of it, it can't be good for us either! We live our busy lives & the stress begins to wear on us. We are a rich country...but it's never enough! Luke 12:48 says: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." We've been given so much...therefore so much more is expected of us. We should be giving back. Are we really being good stewards of what's been given to us?
Have you ever stood in awe & wonder while experiencing God's creation? Every time I go to the ocean I'm seriously breathtaken at first! When I step into a clear river & slide my feet over the smooth rocks I feel God's presence. When I'm sneezing my guts out cuz the flowers are in bloom, I praise Him for the beauty (and take some clariton)! Have you ever found a spot, on a clear night, where there are no street/city lights around & it's pitch black & you can literally look up into the heavens & see EVERYTHING? It's amazing! Have you ever witnessed the birth of a child? I have...I've never seen anything as beautiful as that! I truly sobbed! I want to take care of the earth, not only for myself, but for that child & every other child born in the future! It's not ours...we're only passing through really. The song "Big Yellow Taxi" by Joni Mitchell says, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone." Well if we know what we have & we know how to take care of it...shouldn't we do something about it?
I have my own excuses...but I don't want to settle for excuses anymore. What's your excuse?
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